How to make the worlds most collectible lens

[luisalegria]

Some suggestions for would-be manufacturers of new MF lenses intended primarily for collectors -

1. Give it a fine German name, preferably a first and last name (Carl Zeiss, Jos. Schneider, Nicola Perscheid). Better two first names, and a hyphenated last name. The more names the better. Maybe two, the makers and his accountant and lawyer. Yes, the name ring could get cluttered, but see below.
Give it a German style home town, preferably a very German sounding home town nobody has heard of. I think Mönchengladbach isn't taken yet, and should do very well. And the text should be in a Fraktur-style typeface. It doesn't matter if its readable.

That, or call it a Tomioka.

2. It should have alu or zebra finish. Better than either would be bright chrome brass, but I think nobody knows how to do that properly anymore, the new stuff will make it look like a cheap bathroom fixture. Zebra would probably be better for the reason of 4, below. If Zebra, the paint should be thick shiny black baked-on enamel, like a diplomatic service Mercedes Benz. Natural brass would be an aggressive statement and difficult to pull off correctly, but it could work with enough engraving and knobs.

3. It should have knobs and/or buttons, the more the better, because this all is very, very technical and precise and we need utter control of everything and it all needs a knob. There is nothing much hotter than a 1960's Angenieux with an aperture knob, if it isnt a 1960's Angenieux in Alpa mount with an arm, shutter button and m/a knob. If there is a way to give it an aperture knob, a tripod mount knob, and some excuse for an Exakta-style arm with more buttons, you'd have a killer collectible. If missing these, add just a knob or preferably 5 or 6, maybe knurled chrome, for the focus ring, aperture ring, hood, strap lug, bottle opener, or anything else one can think of as an excuse. And don't forget a focus ring prong !

4. It needs extreme chunky knurling, something like a 1960's Rodenstock. Thats where the zebra detailing come in. You need bling that can be seen at thirty paces.

5. It needs curves like Sofia Vergara. This might be a bit difficult to achieve with 3 and 4 above, maybe the hood can be curvy. Make the curves aspherical (like Sofia Vergara) and you can add "Asph" to the name.

6. It needs a very large front element with colorful coating. You can add some more letters to the name for this reason, or maybe a character like ! or | or @ or &. Zeiss took *, pity that. Maybe all of them - FC@!|&

7. It needs to be be generally tapered back to the lens mount, or at any rate the front should be larger in diameter than the back. . Yes, it does make use of a psychological element identified by Sigmund Freud.

8. It needs a fashionable dedicated hood with distinctive features. Curves as above, zebra detailing, or if on a wide angle Lord of the Rings style helmet spikes like the Voigtlander 15mm

9. Name and specs shouldn't be on the name ring, but outside on a conical section, like where Pentax A lenses put it. Thats because that way its easier then for other people to see you have a German lens from Mönchengladbach. Generally all the engraving should be on conical surfaces, not flat, because its cool.

10. If finished in black/zebra, paint in the engraving should all be slightly off-white, to imply that it was made 70 years ago and has yellowed gracefully with age.

11. Star-shaped aperture if preset. In fact, better if it is preset. More excuse for knobs.

12. NO RUBBER OR PLASTIC except where nobody will see it.

13. It has to be f/1.4 or better, for no particular reason than it looks better on the name ring.

14. It would be best to make it in a portrait focal length but this may be optional. If a portrait lens it should be advertised as a Petzval.
Heck, put Petzval on the name too.

[vlousada]

14 reasons!!
You can add the number of blades - seventeen or more despite the mentioned star-shape!!!

[Mir]

You photoshop whiz out there, create an image of it !

[Lloydy]

and marketed by Lomo.

[harry tibi]

Add some soft-focus abilities and the letter STF.

[invisible]

No tilt-shift?

[Mir]

[RSalles]

Luis,

It would be great if the first prototypes could be available only in reputable e-boy re-sellers like wish-for-leica or breguetcamera with a reserve-price not lower then 32.000 EU. EU, not USD, please.
If, between the lens name it could show also a red dot or a golden dot, it would be great,



Renato

[luisalegria]

Tilt shift of course, because more knobs!
And variable soft focus, with another knob!
We will make 32,000 prototypes each selling for 32,000 euro.
Except for the gold-dot version (which will be much improved and very special by having the extra technical feature of having a gold dot), for 64,000 euro.
Gentlemen, thank you, I think we are close to having a business plan.

[casualcollector]

Here at Gefiltefischen Optischen Werke in Karlmaldenstadt our team of designers and crafts people are ready to assist you in achieving your goal.

[kds315*]

[hoanpham]

[Lloydy]

[kds315*]

ooppss, typo

[DrBB]

"3D mode" button and "4k friendly" sign would help a lot

[sceptic]

Adaptall-style mount, for even more knobs/release pins to operate. Also, deliberately misprint a few name rings to make über-rare versions with astronomical price tags. Perhaps an odd series of lenses with chrome fronts instead of black, for the collectors to lust for?

[paulhofseth]

Better to sell many different versions so that collectors must have them all, hence the scope for personalizing must not be forgotten; visual, mechanical and auditory options must be added.

- Schneider style dept-of-field indicator or Kern Viosifocus moving barrel-dots
- Leitz infinity lock.
- the very satifactory snap-sound of pre-set spring loaded aperture mechanisms.

All respect to German makers, but why leave out Italy, France, Holland, Switzerland ? Officine Galileo, Kinoptik, Oude Delft, Spectros ... Feel confident that multinational makers of birdbaths and cardboard greeting cards would jump at the chance of buying up well regarded names from the past and flog snakeskinwrapped snake oil as a sideline.

p.

[Langstrum]

How about designing a changeable diaphragm? It will be like the Petzval but instead of the pre-shaped aperture, it can be customized with 2 to more than 20 blades, and we can change it anytime!
And if it's macro lens, it will be more attractive to me

[calvin83]

The lens should be signed by some famous celebrities too.

[memetph]

it should come in a Louis Vuitton box.
It should be followed by a tele lens with only 3 elements.

[dan_]

The lens body will be guaranteed hand polished for at least 3 hours.
A special edition with at least a typo in the name is mandatory.
A "0 Years Anniversary Edition", too
As a modern collectible lens all glass elements will be made of ED glass and must be aspherical.

[luisalegria]

Right.

After considerable research (2 minutes), it seems that the proper German brand to resurrect is Emil Busch.
First, because it hasn't been used in 80 years Second because we can add the name of Nicola Perscheid.
That gives us two German names, Emil Busch - Nicola Perscheid on the name ring, which represents a significant improvement in optical performance.

Third, because the Perscheid formula is dead simple, two doublets, tremendously cheap to make, and it is a soft focus portrait lens.
Granted, we will probably have to economize on the optical formula anyway. Perhaps molded plastic elements. We will certainly thereby improve the soft focus effect.

Sadly, we will have to do away with the Busch town of Rathenow because it isn't long enough and worse, has no umlauts, which are an essential part of our quality control program. Some places are just stricken with misfortune. Mönchengladbach it is, unless someone can come up with a place with two umlauts.

[luisalegria]

Considering that the manufacture of the optics will go to the lowest bidder I think we can guarantee that the lens elements will be aspherical

[Lloydy]

[RSalles]

Ken Gutenberg - well it's "good mountain", but more sonorous, what fills better our marketing needs.



Renato